Monday, December 5, 2011

Fourteen (14) Woody Allen Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday

14 Woody Allen Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday

Author:Noel Jameson

Who's ready for some Woody Allen quotes? The name itself tends to draw controversy. When it comes to Woody Allen, you either love him or you hate him -- but critics and fans alike both admit that he's funny. This month let's celebrate the birth of this Hollywood great with these 14 amusing Woody Allen quotes.

14 Woody Allen Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday
14 Woody Allen Quotes to Celebrate His Birthday

1. 'I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.'

2. 'I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.'

3. 'You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.'

4. 'I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.'

5. 'I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.'

6. 'If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.'

7. 'It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.'

8. 'Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.'

9. 'I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.'

10. 'My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers.'

11. 'Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.'

12. 'What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.'

13. 'I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.'

So there they are -- the best Woody Allen quotes around. But I said fourteen right? There's only thirteen there, you say? Well here's something about Woody Allen you might not know. He's not always comedy and sarcasm. Sometimes he's a lot more. Here is your fourteenth quote:

'More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.'

Yes, that quote was spoken by Mr. Woody Allen himself. This month as we celebrate his birthday let us remember that Woody Allen, while funny indeed, is more than just a comedian. Not that there's anything wrong with the humorous side of Woody Allen quotes!

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