Apr 062012
 

15 David Letterman Quotes to Celebrate the Comedian’s Birthday

Author: Noel Jameson

Why is now the perfect time for some fun and entertaining David Letterman quotes? Because his birthday is right around the corner! Dave’s going to be 61! Let’s help him celebrate by reflecting on these 15 hilarious David Letterman quotes.

1. ‘Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it?’

2. ‘Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don’t know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?’

3. ‘President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can’t pronounce Schwarzenegger.’

15 David Letterman Quotes to Celebrate the Comedian's Birthday www.QuotesoftheLife.com-0090

15 David Letterman Quotes to Celebrate the Comedian’s Birthday

4. ‘President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I’m thinking, well, hell, he didn’t need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.’

5. ‘There is no ‘off’ position on the genius switch.’

6. ‘Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.’

7. ‘There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to-minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.’

8. ‘I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York City.’

9. ‘I’m fifty, and I look like a regular guy. You look like a poodle.’

10. ‘This is TV the way it’s supposed to be, ain’t it?’

11. ‘I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this show. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re watching now.’

12. ‘For the love of God, folks, don’t try this at home.’

13. ‘USA Today has come out with a new survey – apparently, three out of every four people make up 75of the population.’

14. ‘New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.’

15. ‘I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.’

Very few people can get me on the floor rolling with laughter. David Letterman is one of them. He truly has a gift for making people laugh. Let’s help him celebrate his birthday this year. These David Letterman quotes are a great way to start.

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Jan 312012
 

Funny Life Quotes and Sayings From Celebrities

By Jenine Amanda Smith

Apparently, thousands of quotes are now available online that people can easily browse and read. People who read quotes and sayings want to be inspired and motivated. Moreover, since the message is sum up into a few words, the audience do not easily get tired from reading. Quotes and sayings bring light and understanding to readers. They can come from the simplest individuals to people from high rank, position and prominence. Below are some of the most famous life quotes from celebrities that you will find amusing.

“The road to success is always under construction”    By Lily Tomlin

Truly, success is not an overnight process. If you want to be successful, you need to start from the bottom. If you want to be a head teacher, you need to be a trainee first or take additional classes. Maybe, you want to be a head nurse, you might want to graduate first and take the examination for nurses. Along the road, there may be bumps and hardships. However, it should never stop you from reaching your goals and dreams.

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second”.    By Johnny Depp

Surely, love can be complicated. There are instances when a person loves two people at the same time. Others have to commit affairs because they love another yet they cannot leave their marital partners because they still have feelings for them. The famous Pirates of the Caribbean actor must have been telling this quote with wisdom. If you still care for your first love, you would not find another person to love. If you have to choose, pick the second one. These are just Depp’s thoughts. If you are caught in such situation, the decision still lies with you.

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”      By Katherine Hepburn

Certainly, for a maiden, it is flattering to hear admiration from men. It gives a girl a sense of confidence and pride. Many dictionaries describe criticism as a critical observation or remark. Criticism can be accepted as something positive or negative. In marriage, husband and wife are very open to one another. For many couples, giving criticism has been a regular routine. It boils down on the partner’s motive why the criticism is given. Then again, marriage couples should not only learn how to give criticism, they should also learn to give complements and flattery to their partners. That is called appreciation.

“You’ve got enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something in your life.”     By Eminem

It is a fact that people have different views and beliefs. Standing up for something you believe in can ruin relationships and can increase the number of your enemies. However, it will also give you peace of mind that you do not let others opinions tamper yours. Eminem or Marshall Bruce Mathers III is a popular American rapper, songwriter and producer. He wrote a number of controversial songs that made many people angry. It is not a new story that he had several feuds with other celebrities and family members because of the contentious lyrics that he wrote and sang. Perhaps, he is just being true to himself.

Celebrities are opinionated like any of us. They have minds to speak too. The quotes above all came from celebrities. They are not just comical, people of different walks of life can greatly relate to them as well.

People love to be inspired. Go to the web and find inspiring and funny life quotes written by famous writers, celebrities, and newsmakers.

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